Oral Sex, Intercourse, and Intimacy

I have collaborated with Sarah Vannier, a former graduate student of Dr. Lucia O’Sullivan (Psychology), on a project examining young adults' perceptions of the intimacy of oral sex and intercourse. Although oral sex is a common and normative sexual activity among young people there is concern that young people perceive oral sex as a casual, non-intimate, behaviour. Yet, we know very little about how young people are making decisions about whether a sexual behaviour is intimate or not.

We conducted a qualitative study in which we asked 85 young adults (ages 17 to 24) whether they found intercourse or oral sex to be more intimate. They then wrote a short essay in response to the question “Please explain why you have the opinion you do. Describe how your own values, background, experiences, and education have impacted your opinion. Give as much detail as possible and try to include examples.” Content analysis revealed five key themes. Participants perceived intercourse as more intimate than oral sex because: (1) it is a symbol of love and commitment; (2) it is mutual or shared; (3) it involves greater risks, such as STIs, and benefits, such as a desired pregnancy; and, (4) oral sex is not discussed by parents, friends, or sex educators. A few participants perceived oral sex as more intimate than intercourse because: (5) it requires focusing on a partner and delaying one's own sexual gratification. The most unexpected finding was that participants reported perceiving oral sex as less intimate than intercourse because during their sexual education no one, including their parents or teachers, had ever discussed oral sex.

Overall results of this study highlight the role that source of formal (e.g., school) and informal (e.g., parents, friends, media) play in shaping young people’s perceptions of the intimacy of sexual behavior. In order for young people to make informed decisions about the meaning that various sexual behaviors have for them, we need to expand sexual health discussions to include topics beyond reproduction, STIs, and intercourse (Meaney et al., 2009; Ninomiya, 2010; Weaver et al, 2002). A manuscript based on this work was published in Archives of Sexual Behavior.

Sarah has conducted other research on oral sex including a study that was recently published in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence examining young adults' motives for engaging in oral sex (Vannier & O'Sullivan, 2012). 

The following publication is based on this work:    

Vannier, S. A., & Byers, E. S. (2013). A qualitataive study of university students' perceptions of oral sex, intercourse, and intimacy. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 42, 1573-1581. DOI: 10.1007/s10508-013-0130-0.